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Ona is such an essential expression of marriage that when one member of a couple is not willing to properly fulfill this mitzva, the other may demand a divorce. If this is an ongoing problem, it is even advisable to divorce. Therefore, when there are physical or emotional difficulties which prevent physical intimacy, a couple must get help. Whether they should consult a rabbi, a therapist, or a doctor depends on the nature and severity of the issue. Even when a couple are able to have relations but without enjoyment, it is advisable for them to make every effort to resolve the problem so they can fulfill the mitzva with pleasure and joy.
Some cases are so severe that, whether for physical or emotional reasons, one member of the couple is not able to enjoy the mitzva, despite counseling and other efforts. When the issue is with the wife, the marriage can continue as long as she agrees, out of love for her husband, to be intimate at the set times. When the issue is with the husband, the situation is more complex. On the one hand, if he is unable to have sexual relations, his wife is entitled to a divorce. On the other hand, if she loves him, she may decide to stay in the marriage despite this. He must then please her to the best of his ability.
