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It is a mitzva for children to live near their parents. This makes it easier for the children to visit, which allows them to honor them and make them happy, and to help them when necessary. While living nearby is admirable, it is not an obligation. In cases of great necessity, children may choose to live at a distance. For example, children may move away if there is no suitable employment or educational frameworks near the parents; if a child cannot afford to buy a home near the parents; and certainly, if a child wants to move to Israel, a mitzva which is the equivalent of all the other mitzvot together. Additionally, a spouse’s preference about where to live must be taken into account. In any event, children who live far away must visit their parents often, in accordance with the norm and the circumstances. If parents are in dire straits, children must commit themselves to help. If parents do not require help but ask their child to visit every day because they enjoy their company, the child is not obligated to do so. The mitzva obligates the children to provide the help the parents need, not to spend all their time making the parents happy. Nevertheless, they are required to visit regularly, following the norm for those in similar circumstances.
If parents need full-time help, it is a mitzva for a child to have the parents move in so that the child can take care of them. This is on condition the child’s spouse is in full agreement. If the spouse objects, the child must either find a proper facility for the parents, hire a caregiver, or go every day to help them.
