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Some maintain that the mitzva of honoring parents applies even if the parents are wicked, and that even a mamzer (10:3 above) is obligated to honor his parents. Others maintain that children do not have to honor parents who are truly immoral or corrupt. Nevertheless, all agree that causing parents embarrassment or pain is forbidden.
If a parent is a danger to the children, the children must be protected and kept away from that parent. The children should be reassured they are not to blame for the parent’s bad behavior. Even in such a terrible and complex situation, the children should try to find a way to judge the bad parent favorably. Even though their parents' actions are absolutely reprehensible, the children should assume the bad parent is sick, whether physically or psychologically. The greater the children’s understanding that their abusive parent is ill, the more readily they will be able to separate the terrible actions, and appreciate any positive interactions in which their parent acted normally. Throughout their lives, the children can come back to those golden moments, which can serve as a positive basis for them to build a good relationship with their own children.
