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Honor needs to be based on honest appreciation. Accordingly, the mitzva of honoring parents includes contemplating and learning from their good deeds and positive character traits. Even if others see the parents as ordinary people, it is a mitzva for the children to look for the good in them, until they can view them as people of sterling character.
Nevertheless, if the parents sin in certain areas, or have certain character flaws, the children should acknowledge that. If the children remain in denial, there is a risk they too will perpetuate this bad behavior. At the same time as recognizing their parents’ flaws, it is a mitzva for children to give their parents the benefit of the doubt – perhaps their flaws are due to the circumstances of their lives, and they are only partially responsible. Since parents are their children's roots, when children focus on their parents’ weaknesses, they are focusing on the roots of their own weaknesses. Conversely, when children emphasize their parents’ strengths, they connect with the roots of their own strengths, reinforce their positive traits, and are inspired to act properly.
