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Some have a custom to have the tombstone put up (and “unveiled”) by the thirtieth day following the funeral. It should include the name of the deceased, the name of the deceased’s parents, and the dates of birth and death. Some praises of the deceased may also be included, though not exaggerated, as such exaggeration may cause the heavenly court to judge him or her more harshly.
When possible, a married couple should be buried together, so they are together in death as they were in life. This also makes things simpler for the children when they visit their parents’ graves.
When visiting a grave, it is customary to place a pebble on the tombstone to show that someone was there. There is also a custom of non-Jewish origin to honor a grave by placing a wreath of flowers on it. Some Jews have adopted this custom. Even though there is no mitzva to do so, there is no prohibition either.
