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When the mourners return home following the funeral, it is a mitzva for their relatives or neighbors to make them the first meal, to help them recover from the intensity of the death and burial and to ease them back into life. This meal of consolation is referred to as se’udat havra’a (literally, the meal of recuperation). It would not be right for the mourners to need to worry about preparing a meal when the body of someone dear to them has just been laid in the grave. There is also a concern that some mourners would end up not eating and become weak as a result.
It is customary to serve round foods at this meal – eggs, lentils, pitta bread, or bagels – to remind the mourners that life is cyclical. Now they are at a low point, in mourning, but the wheel keeps turning, and they will experience happier times. Additionally, round foods have no “mouth” or opening, which hints at the desirability of silence at the upcoming shiva. During the week of shiva it is also common practice for friends and relatives to make things easier for the mourners by preparing food for them. However, if they do not do so, the mourners may cook for themselves.
