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The ten days that begin with Rosh Ha-shana and end with Yom Kippur are days in which God judges His world. Therefore, even though repentance is always appropriate, it is even more fitting during these ten days, and more readily accepted. The primary components of repentance are recognizing the sin, regretting it, confessing verbally before God, and resolving not to repeat it. Additionally, those repenting should increase their Torah study and good deeds, bringing light and blessing to the world, compensating for the spiritual damage they caused. A person who has committed a very serious transgression should consult with a rabbi about how best to rectify it.
It is customary to increase charitable giving during the Ten Days of Repentance, as the verse states, “Charity saves from death” (Proverbs 11:4). Traditionally, money is given to the poor and to those who study Torah, to benefit the souls of parents and family members who have passed away. Even the dead can achieve atonement on Yom Kippur when donations are made on their behalf, as it shows they are still having a positive impact on the world. This is why the day is referred to as “Yom Ha-kippurim” (in the plural), as it atones for both the living and the dead.
During this period, it is proper to engage in soul-searching, to make amends for mistakes made over the past year. To facilitate this, it is customary to study ethical works which inspire us to improve ourselves and commit to more Torah study, kindness, and charity.
The Shabbat during the Ten Days of Repentance is called “Shabbat Shuva” or “Shabbat Teshuva.” On this Shabbat, rabbis generally dedicate their sermons to the topic of repentance.
Our Sages state, “Yom Kippur atones for sins between man and God; however, Yom Kippur does not atone for interpersonal sins, until the offender has placated his friend” (Yoma 85b). Therefore, we must ask forgiveness from everyone we have hurt, and make efforts to heal unhealthy relationships. If someone spoke badly about another person in front of a group, which led the listeners to think less of the subject, the offender should make a point of speaking highly of this person in front of the same group. One should also explicitly take back what was said, to counter any damage one may have done. (See 3:28 above for more about making amends.)
If a person cannot locate the person hurt to ask for forgiveness, one should still regret what was done and resolve not to repeat the offense. This repentance mitigates the severity of the sin.
If someone has a disagreement with another person about money, one should not decide unilaterally that one is in the right, as self-interest may be an influence. Rather, one should turn to a rabbi and ask for guidance.
