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The wedding day is the most important day of a couple’s life. On this day, they will begin to completely observe the major Torah principle of “Love your fellow as yourself,” which can be fully actualized only within the framework of marriage. On this holy day, the image of God within them shines forth. They break through the barriers of their individuality and enter into a covenant of love and devotion, revealing a spark of the unity of God. They have the opportunity to bring new life into the world and to become partners with God in continuing the process of creation.
It is incredible when we think about the long and wonderful journey the bride and groom begin when they stand under the ĥuppa (marriage canopy) – a never-ending journey with peaks of love and depths of commitment. They will experience both happy times and challenging intervals, as well as many stretches of blessed routine. There will be times when their love will be expressed as physical passion and other occasions when it will be expressed as friendly affection, manifested in myriad loving gestures. It is because the journey is so valuable that the difficulties and obstacles are so formidable. The more the couple succeed in adhering to the Torah’s mitzvot and the Rabbis’ safeguards, the more easily they will be able to meet the challenges and continue to develop and deepen a wonderful relationship.
God willing, they will raise children and eventually accompany them to their own ĥuppot. The grown children will then begin their own wonderful journeys, which will provide their parents with grandchildren and then great-grandchildren, and so on until the end of time. Were the bride and groom able to envision all of this at the ĥuppa, they would certainly faint on the spot, for the mind is incapable of grasping holiness and responsibility of this magnitude.
The couple face their first test when planning the wedding. Will they aim for a glamorous and glorious wedding, which may well cause tension and arguments? Or will they aim for a humble and modest wedding, mitzva-oriented, and joyfully celebrated with friends and family?
The Sages tell us that all of the couple’s sins are forgiven when they get married. This is because on their wedding day, they wish to bring each other joy with all their hearts, and to raise and educate their future children to be good people in the eyes of God and humankind. To take advantage of this great opportunity for forgiveness, the bride and groom should repent on their wedding day and pray to God to help them fulfill their aspirations. Toward this purpose, some have a custom for the bride and groom to fast that day. (In some of those communities, they fast all day; in others, only in the morning.)
