)
The way kiddushin is usually conducted is that the groom gives a ring to the bride and says to her, “Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring in accordance with the law of Moses and Israel.” It must be clear to the bride and groom what kiddushin entails. The groom must understand he is committing himself to do his best to make his bride happy. This includes fulfilling the mitzva of ona and supporting her comfortably. The bride in turn must understand she is committing herself to doing her best to make her groom happy. In addition, accepting the ring also means she is now prohibited to all other men. Since nowadays it is forbidden for a man to marry more than one wife, kiddushin also means the groom is prohibited to all other women.
Actually, according to the letter of the law, kiddushin can be done by giving a perutah (the smallest coin in Talmudic times, equivalent to several cents today), or something of equal worth. The idea is that the bride receives something of value from the groom to become married. Her agreement to accept this item indicates her willingness to become his wife, with everything this entails. Nevertheless, as we mentioned above, a ring is used. This way, the wife can continue to wear it as a permanent reminder of her married status.
If the bride is under the impression the ring is worth a thousand dollars, but it is actually worth less, the validity of the kiddushin is called into question. Therefore, the custom is to use a plain gold or silver ring with no ornamentation, so there will be no mistake about its value. The ring must belong to the groom; he must either have paid for it himself or have been given it as an outright gift.
Without kosher witnesses, there is no kiddushin. Even if the husband and wife later swear they performed kiddushin, it does not take effect unless witnesses are present. The witnesses validate the kiddushin as representatives of the Jewish nation. They must be adult males who are not related to the bride, the groom, or each other. To be “kosher,” the witnesses must identify with the values upon which kiddushin is based, which means they must be observant Jews. Some sins invalidate a person as a witness. These include adultery or incest, theft or fraud, and public desecration of the Sabbath.
The blessings recited during kiddushin and nissuin have the status of public prayer, so they require the presence of ten men.
