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God’s laws are beyond our comprehension, so we will never be able to understand them fully. However, here we can identify an underlying principle, namely that a woman knows who her children are, because she gives birth to them. In contrast, a man might have doubts if his children are his own, or (God forbid) another man’s. If he is uncertain about paternity, he will not be motivated to work to support his wife and children. Feeling alienated from them, he will not want to invest in them or in their education. Furthermore, a mother is naturally more devoted to her children than a father. She carries them in her womb for nine months, delivers them, nurses them, and takes care of them; most often she is more closely connected to them. In contrast, a father’s connection to his children is based less on nature and more on moral responsibility, devotion, and love. Due to the strict laws pertaining to a wife who cheats, and the law which does not allow a wife to remarry without a get, a husband can be more confident that his wife is faithful, and that the children are really his. He can dedicate his life to his wife and children without any doubts, and make sacrifices to support them and ensure their wellbeing.
In secular society today, these laws are ignored because they are considered archaic, based on an extreme version of equality. But the state of society would seem to prove their importance, as the nuclear family without these laws is unravelling. One could say that halakha is not interested in establishing equality per se, but rather in charting a course that is most helpful in benefiting all members of the family. This is why halakha is more demanding of women in the laws about personal status, while it is more demanding of men in the laws about financial support.
Now that we have finished exploring the tremendous value of marriage, the rules designed to strengthen a couple’s love, and to protect the family from life's obstacles, the time has come to learn about the wonderful event that transforms a man and a woman into a married couple.
