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There is a mitzva to celebrate the festivals with family and household members, as we read: “You shall rejoice in your festival with your son and daughter” (ibid.). The “you” here includes both members of a couple because husband and wife are considered one unit. Therefore, the first priority for a husband is to make his wife happy. Similarly, a wife’s primary responsibility is to make her husband happy. As a couple, they then have the responsibility to include the rest of the household members in their enjoyment. In fact, Jews customarily celebrate the festivals together with their families.
To make sure things go well, every family member must make efforts to maintain an atmosphere of good feeling throughout the festival. This includes refraining from making hurtful comments (especially during the meals), viewing everyone positively, and trying to make everyone happy by speaking warmly with them and complimenting them. Sadly, some people are influenced by an anti-religious culture which devalues and mocks the sanctity of the festivals and family values. Consequently, their family celebrations on Yom Tov become burdensome and frustrating, leading to tension, fighting, and hurt feelings. The more they improve their understanding of family values and the sanctity of the festival, the easier they will find it to avoid hurting other family members, and to compliment them and make them happy. Thus, they will be blessed to experience the festivals with joy and peace.
