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When children reach halakhic maturity – age twelve for girls and thirteen for boys – they are considered adults. From then on, they are obligated to study Torah and keep all the mitzvot. True, their parents must continue to educate them as long as they are living at home, but the primary responsibility passes to the young adults themselves.
It is a tremendous privilege to be obligated in mitzvot. In the words of our Sages, “The Holy One, blessed be He, wanted to confer merit upon the Jews. That is why He gave them Torah and commandments in abundance” (Mishna, Makkot 3:16). For this reason, it is customary to have a party when a child becomes subject to the mitzvot – which is the meaning of the phrases bat and bar mitzva.
Ideally, the party should be held on the day of the birthday. If that is difficult, the celebration may be delayed by a few days. During the celebration, words of Torah should be shared, the family’s traditions should be evoked, and the young adult should be given encouragement as he or she enters this new stage of life.
In preparation for the bat or bar mitzva, it has recently become customary for the young adult to take on a project that involves Torah study or mitzva performance. Each family should choose a project with which it most identifies.
