Two general mitzvot serve as the basis for all interpersonal relations. The first is the mitzva of loving every Jew. The second is the prohibition of hating any Jew. These mitzvot are rooted in the concept that the entire Jewish people is one big family, hence we must all feel like siblings. As it says, “You shall not hate your brother in your heart . . . Love your fellow as yourself” (Leviticus 19:17-18). These mitzvot are the foundation of the entire Torah, as Rabbi Akiva said: “Love your fellow as yourself – this is a major Torah principle.” According to the Talmud (Shabbat 31a), Hillel the Elder made a similar statement when a prospective convert asked him to teach him the whole Torah on one foot: “What you hate, do not do to your fellow. This is the essence of the Torah. The rest is in the details.”

Our lives are lived primarily within the interpersonal arena – relationships with our family, friends, and neighbors. Thus, most of the mitzvot we encounter are contained in these two general categories. If these principles guide us, we will spend most of our time doing mitzvot. Let us take this a step further. Even the mitzvot that relate to our relationship with God depend on interpersonal mitzvot. If we do not care about other people and do not try to avoid hurting them, we are self-absorbed, living in our own selfish bubble. We are unable to see the world as it really is, so we are unable to open ourselves up to faith in God. Breaking out of the narrowness of egotism and experiencing the vastness of faith can be accomplished through love, love through which we identify with the other and want good for them in the same way we want good for ourselves. This in turn allows us to connect to the vision of perfecting the world through Torah and mitzvot.

In practice, it is impossible for us to know every one of our broader Jewish family and to actively express our love for them all. Rather, love and a sense of responsibility towards others are manifested from the inner circle outwards: first to one’s spouse, then immediate family, friends and more distant family, acquaintances and neighbors, and so on. How then does “Love your fellow as yourself” apply to the entire Jewish people? We are meant to feel kinship with all Jews, and to want the best for each one of them just as we want the best for ourselves. That way, if we do come across a fellow Jew in trouble and we are able to help, we will do so, just as we would want to be helped if the situation were reversed.

According to Ben Azzai, there is an even greater principle than that of loving your fellow, namely the principle of human worth (kevod ha-adam), which derives from humans having been created in the image of God. The Torah clearly states, “This is the record of Adam’s line. When God created man, He made him in the likeness of God; male and female He created them” (Genesis 5:1). Similarly, “And God created man in His image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them” (ibid. 1:27).

Man is created in the image and likeness of God – what does that mean? It means that humans, like God, have free will. Each person can better (or worsen) his or her own condition as well as the condition of the world at large. Since we have the ability to improve the world, we have the responsibility to do so. Thus, the principle of human worth would seem to be qualitatively greater than “Love your fellow as yourself,” because it touches the very definition of our humanity. This principle is also quantitatively greater, as it applies equally to all of humanity.

Despite the importance of the principle of human worth and responsibility, it is generally accepted that the principle of “Love your fellow as yourself” is more important, in the sense it is more demanding. While we should respect others for their ability and responsibility to choose goodness, respect is not enough. We must love our fellow human beings and act in their best interests.

Beyond this, love allows us to break through the barrier of our own selfishness, revealing the image of God within ourselves. God created us with a divine soul. However, to protect our free will and enable us to be independent, God concealed our soul’s divine light. When we interact lovingly with other people, helping them in times of trouble or rejoicing with them during times of joy, the image of God in them becomes apparent to us. In turn, our soul begins to shine too, allowing us to grow spiritually and improve our connection with God. The interpersonal mitzvot guide us in this direction.

The independence and uniqueness of every human being has negative consequences as well, namely the tendencies to separation, competition, and war. The great challenge facing us all is to reveal our inner unity, which is rooted in the oneness of God Who created everything and gives life to everything. Through faith, love, and cooperation, everyone receives blessing from the divine source. And it all starts with the mitzva to “Love your fellow as yourself.”

Since people are created in the image of God, we must treat them with respect. No one may be belittled, even if they are not aware of it. As it says, “You shall not insult the deaf” (Leviticus 19:14). This means it is prohibited to demean anyone even if they cannot hear you and do not know they are being disparaged.

An employer must be careful to treat his or her employees respectfully. Don’t give them humiliating work or order them around in a demeaning way. Anyone who sees or hears a person disparaging someone else should be horrified and feel as if they themselves were hurt. The Sages state that one who raises his hand to strike another, even if they do not carry through, is considered wicked. Slapping another person's face is like slapping the face of God. Even after a person has died, the respect due their body demands we bury them in a timely fashion. There is even a mitzva to bury enemy soldiers respectfully (Ezekiel 39:13).

Because human life is so valuable, it is right to honor mothers, especially those who have been blessed with many children, and pregnant women who are nourishing new lives. Additionally, it is proper to honor people who excel in their fields, whether scholars, scientists, entrepreneurs, artists, or anyone else. For talented people give expression to the greatness hidden in humanity. Honoring them is honoring the entire human race. In fact, every person is deserving of respect, as every person, created in the image of God, brings something unique to the great tapestry of life.

If a person hurts or insults someone else, it is a mitzva to reprimand the offender. This makes him or her aware that what they said or did was hurtful and gives them a chance to repair the relationship. As it says, “You shall not hate your kinsfolk in your heart. Reprove your kinsman but incur no guilt because of him. . . Love your fellow as yourself; I am the Lord” (Leviticus 19:17-18). If instead we hide our upset and hate the person in our heart, we transgress two mitzvot: the prohibition to hate and the mitzva to reprimand and to love.

Since the goal is to correct, not to attack or to assert superiority, criticism must be delivered respectfully. Care must be taken to minimize any insult or distress. Sometimes, upon being informed our behavior was hurtful, we say we did not intend to hurt or insult. We apologize and promise not to repeat the behavior. When this happens, it turns out there was never a reason to be angry in the first place. A gentle, loving rebuke was all that was necessary. Other times, it becomes clear the offense was the result of a misunderstanding, and if there is anyone who should take offense it is the other person. In this case, the person who started to reprimand must apologize for the misunderstanding and for thinking badly of the other person without cause. Therefore, when giving rebuke, one must always offer it tentatively, and be ready to hear what the other person has to say in their defense.

Even if the injured party is positive the reprimand will not help because the offender often acts insensitively and hurtfully, there is still a mitzva to rebuke them respectfully, because there is always a chance they will take the words to heart. Even if the criticism is rejected, it is safe to assume that if everyone this person insults speaks to them about it, they will improve, at least slightly, over the course of time.

When we have been hurt by another person and not reproached them, we are likely to start hating them. We often harbor a desire for revenge, or at least hold a grudge. Therefore, the Torah commands us, “You shall not hate your brother in your heart. Reprove your fellow but incur no guilt because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the members of your nation. Love your fellow as yourself; I am the Lord” (Leviticus 19:17-18).

How does the Torah define “vengeance” and “grudge bearing”? Let us say Reuven asks Shimon to lend him a hammer and Shimon refuses. Later, Shimon asks Reuven to lend him a screwdriver. If Reuven responds, “I’m not going to lend you the screwdriver because you didn’t lend me the hammer,” he is guilty of taking revenge. If instead he responds, “Look, I’m not mean like you. You didn't lend me the hammer, but I have pity on the pathetic person you are, and therefore I will lend you the screwdriver,” he is guilty of bearing a grudge. The Sages offer an analogy to explain how such behavior is self-defeating. A person trips and hurts his hand. Is it conceivable his hand would then pick up a hammer and break his foot as revenge? Of course not, because the hand and foot are part of one whole. So too, every Jew is an essential part of one whole. If one of us hurts another, it makes no sense for the other to retaliate, as that simply adds to our total pain and misery.

What should we do instead though? The best thing is to rebuke the other person gently and lovingly, to pre-empt any bad feeling developing. Preferably one should do this before the other person needs to ask for a favor, as by that point any type of reproach is likely to be hurtful. If, despite the importance of the mitzva of rebuke, we prefer to avoid it, either due to embarrassment or because of fear it would just make the situation worse, we must let go of our hurt feelings. Since we have not rebuked the other person, we have no right to be angry with them. While we may choose to distance ourselves from the person so as not to get hurt again, we cannot ignore them or treat them as an enemy. If we meet them by chance, we should greet them cordially, and help them wholeheartedly if they request a favor.

Observing these mitzvot puts an end to most feuds. Even if one side behaves badly, a feud cannot be sustained as long as the other side abstains from revenge and grudges. When we succeed in overcoming the evil inclination and avoid hating others, bearing grudges, and exacting revenge, we acquire the trait of humility. This allows us to look benevolently upon the world, to enjoy life, and to direct our energies towards developing our talents and carrying out our mission. As an extra benefit, we will have more friends and fewer enemies.

It is a mitzva to judge people favorably, as we read, “Judge your fellow with righteousness” (Leviticus 19:15). This means that when another person’s actions are ambiguous and can be interpreted either positively or negatively, there is a mitzva to interpret them positively. Every person is a mix of good and bad, so almost every action can be interpreted positively or negatively. The question is which is primary. Through this mitzva, the Torah teaches us that virtue is primary, as people truly aspire to do good. Let us take this a step further. By judging one's fellow favorably, we change reality for the better, because we are reinforcing the positive elements within ourselves and within the other person.

The obligation to judge favorably is conditional upon the positive interpretation being reasonable. If it is very difficult to put a positive spin on another person’s action or speech, one does not need to judge favorably unless the other person is righteous. If they are, then even if they have done something difficult to interpret in a positive light, there is a mitzva to judge them favorably as long as there is some way to do so. This is logical, since for a righteous person the terrible thing one thinks one is seeing would be out of character. The more righteous a person is, the more reason demands we make efforts to judge them positively.

By contrast, when judging a wicked person, it is reasonable to assume the worst, even when the action can be interpreted favorably. Even though a wicked person may deep down aspire to be good, since they have chosen an evil path, it is reasonable to assume they are being consistent. Therefore, one should not judge them favorably.

It is forbidden to speak badly of others (lashon ha-ra). This is the case even when the statement is true. Even worse is telling lies and slandering someone (hotza’at shem ra). Less evil, but still prohibited, is simple gossip (rekhilut) – talking about someone else’s private life. Even when gossip is not negative, it is forbidden because it compromises privacy. Nobody wants people gossiping about their private lives. Nevertheless, well-known information may be shared, as long as the sharing is motivated neither by animosity nor a desire to mock.

There is a mitzva to save people from harm. Therefore, if a person witnesses someone’s property being damaged (whether intentionally or unintentionally), and it is clear the perpetrators will not take the initiative to admit guilt and pay, one may report this to the injured party, thus enabling them to sue for damages. As a general principle, the prohibition of lashon ha-ra is meant to prevent causing people needless pain, not to protect criminals and hooligans.

Let us say Reuven wants to do business with Levi, and asks Shimon if Levi is honest. If Shimon knows Levi is dishonest, he must tell Reuven to protect him. At the same time, Shimon should make sure not to overstate his criticisms. If his information about Levi is not definite, he must make that clear. Shimon should also not speak out of animosity. Rather, he should be motivated by his desire to save Reuven from making a mistake and suffering the consequences. When Reuven receives the negative report, he must thank Shimon for his help. At the same time, he should not take Shimon’s word as absolute truth. For even one who is extremely righteous may still misjudge another person. Similarly, it is possible Levi was dishonest in the past, but has since corrected his ways. Therefore, even though Reuven will make sure not to do business with Levi to avoid getting cheated, he should still retain a positive attitude towards him and treat him with respect.

The same thing applies to people running for office. It is permitted to report facts about them for the public benefit. This is on condition that a full picture is presented that includes both virtues and vices, without animosity or exaggeration. All this applies when the candidate is someone who is fundamentally decent like most people, but who has serious flaws which might lead others to prefer a different, better candidate. However, if a candidate is truly wicked – whether the wickedness stems from corrupt character or hatred for all that is sacred – they may be spoken of with hostility, to keep people from mistakenly following them. Yet even in such a case, it is still forbidden to lie or overstate the candidate’s shortcomings.

When truth and peace come into conflict – for example, when telling the truth will hurt someone’s feelings or cause hositlity – the Sages tell us there is a mitzva to deviate from the truth to preserve the peace. They point out that God Himself did this. When the elderly Sarah was informed she would have a child, she laughed inside and wondered (Genesis 18:12), “How will I have a child when I am worn out and my husband is old?” Then, when God retold this to Abraham, He mentioned only what Sarah said about herself. He left out what she said about Abraham being old, as any man is liable to feel hurt if he hears his wife thinks he is old.

If we look a little more deeply, we see there is really no conflict between the values of truth and peace. Rather, the tension is between profound truth and surface truth. Deep down, people want to live in harmony with one another, for one Creator created us all. It is only the disorder of the world which leads to disagreements and discord. The Torah instructs us to prefer the profound truth to the surface truth. Of course, this is on condition that deviating from the truth will not hurt someone else. However, if we know someone is harming a friend, we must tell the friend the truth to enable them to protect themselves.

We have a mitzva to focus on everything our family and friends do for us, whether providing help, compliments, or encouragement. It is a mitzva to acknowledge them too. Thanking shows we are grateful and understand their goodwill is not to be taken for granted. Gratitude increases blessing, as it reinforces good deeds and positive speech, and encourages people to carry on in this vein. In contrast, an ingrate is arrogant and blocks the flow of blessing. Also, ingrates will never be happy because they will always feel people do not treat them well enough and that they deserve more.

There is also a mitzva to be grateful to strangers and graciously thank them for any help or kind gestures as well. This includes thanking people whose kindness is performed in the course of doing their jobs: cashiers, salespeople, clerks, and the like. It is right to value every person who works and helps others.

There is a mitzva to be sensitive to others and not cause them pain. For example, we should not push people out of the way, cut in line, or open a window on a cold day if it will make someone else uncomfortable. As Hillel said, “What you hate, do not do to your fellow.” This does not mean someone who personally is not bothered by noise may make noise near other people. Rather, just as there are some things which really disturb us, we should recognize there are some things other people find annoying. Therefore, we should be cautious about noise near others.

Different norms and varying circumstances will affect the required levels of sensitivity. For example, if someone needs to concentrate on work or studies, those around must be especially careful to avoid making even minimal noise. If we are in our yard, we should not yell so loudly that the neighbors have no choice but to hear. Late at night, in residential areas where people are sleeping, we must make sure to keep our voices down and not slam car doors. A person should not litter, and certainly should not leave glass shards or other dangerous items in busy areas, where passersby could get hurt.