We have a mitzva to share in our friends’ and relatives’ joy. We should go to their weddings and their children’s weddings, to bar and bat mitzvas, circumcisions, and birth celebrations. If they need help organizing or financing these celebrations, we have a mitzva to help them. A gift, traditionally given to honor the occasion, is a significant element of one’s participation. The more needy the hosts, the larger the gift should be. No less important is that when attending a celebration, we should try to make our hosts and the other guests happy. We should think about something meaningful and complimentary to share that will make them feel good. The less they pay attention to whether people are honoring them sufficiently, the happier they will be and the happier we will make them (and people will think more of us as well).
There is also a mitzva to share in the sorrow of one’s friends and relatives. If someone dies, we have a mitzva to mourn and to participate in the funeral to honor the deceased and the family. If we know the people sitting shiva, we should visit them and offer comfort, so they know they are not alone – their friends and acquaintances share in their pain. (See 14:12 below.)
