When truth and peace come into conflict – for example, when telling the truth will hurt someone’s feelings or cause hositlity – the Sages tell us there is a mitzva to deviate from the truth to preserve the peace. They point out that God Himself did this. When the elderly Sarah was informed she would have a child, she laughed inside and wondered (Genesis 18:12), “How will I have a child when I am worn out and my husband is old?” Then, when God retold this to Abraham, He mentioned only what Sarah said about herself. He left out what she said about Abraham being old, as any man is liable to feel hurt if he hears his wife thinks he is old.
If we look a little more deeply, we see there is really no conflict between the values of truth and peace. Rather, the tension is between profound truth and surface truth. Deep down, people want to live in harmony with one another, for one Creator created us all. It is only the disorder of the world which leads to disagreements and discord. The Torah instructs us to prefer the profound truth to the surface truth. Of course, this is on condition that deviating from the truth will not hurt someone else. However, if we know someone is harming a friend, we must tell the friend the truth to enable them to protect themselves.
